I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
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For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.