Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You can't motorboat a personality
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.