if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
