Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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