If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize