she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize