Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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