where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
