why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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