Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
