just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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