Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
