Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
