I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
