And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
