I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
