Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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