where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
