I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
