i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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