I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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