Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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