life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
