If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
