"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm passing your future prison.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
