I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
