walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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