i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
