I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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