big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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