College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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