I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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