***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
