i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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