I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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