the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
