its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
