I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
