Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
