I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We need to rekindle our bromance
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
