Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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