i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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