i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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