hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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