i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
