He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
