If that was your dad, he is hot
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We left the knife in your bed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
