I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
