after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
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We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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