We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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