Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
