problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
