who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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