when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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