At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
