I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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