i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
whose parrot is this?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
