2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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