and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
