All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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