tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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