please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
