I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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