I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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