my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
