shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it was like eating out sand paper
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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